Fag Hag… An Ode To The Women Formerly Known As 'Fag Hags.'
Gay and straight Women have always been part of Fire Island Pines history. However, the straight girls that had a gay bestie, and who became one of the boys have played a role also. In the 1970’s these girls would be known as a Fag Hag. A name that was used both as affection and ridicule…
Magret Cho in “Fire Island” the movie 2022.
Wikipedia:
A fag hag is, in gay slang, a woman who associates either mostly or exclusively with gay and bisexual men. The phrase originated in gay male culture in the United States and was historically an insult. Some women who associate with gay men object to being called fag hags while others embrace the term.
1998. To many it is an offensive term, while others embrace the phrase. Like many labels you do not hear it used much today, but it was a commonplace term in the past…
In doing some research here are some news articles:
Will and Grace. NBC/IMDB
An Ode To The Women Formerly Known As 'Fag Hags'
7 MARCH 2018, 2:00
For many, the term summons up an image of loneliness, tragedy, third wheeling, cats, and a failure at romantic heterosexual love. For others, it also brings up an image of Michelle Visage — big boobs, layered makeup, corsets, leggings, leopard print, backcombed hair — a kind of “man-repelling” style. Either side of the coin, it reduces women labelled as Fag Hags to singular visuals underpinned by tragedy and lack of agency.
But while the term died out, the cross-orientation friendships did not. What today we might brand an “ally” or “best friend” might once have been misnomered as the Fag Hag. Don’t we all know that dating is hard: whether on a gay scene which can sometimes struggle with intimacy and loss of space, or on the hetero scene where patriarchal and misogynist structures play out, and finding a straight male feminist ally is as hard as finding a single bad song on Madonna’s album Ray of Light. So as we wave goodbye to our past of Fag Hagdom, we are left with what was always there: powerful platonic friendships between gay men and women which, in mine and many people’s experience, have proven to be a site of love, understanding, uplifting, listening, learning, respect, intimacy and power in ways that a romantic relationship of any orientation can never hope to achieve. While the pendulum swings from no gay rights to more gay rights, from no real public awareness about all things LGBTQIA+ and feminist, to more, it’s natural that along that path we make mistakes and employ politics and terminologies which quickly become outdated. The pendulum for the Fag Hag rightly swings no more.
2022. A frequent visitor to the Pines and friend Amanda (Actress/Singer) gave her thoughts:
“The one thing I am very conscious of as a straight woman who has been so graciously accepted in the fire island community is I personally am not really comfortable using the “f” word lol - when I was promoting the tune live I would call myself a “Fab Hag” because I wouldn’t want to offend or appear tone deaf to a community adore.”
